Jillian Michaels Does BIC

I’ve been watching The Biggest Loser lately, and I can’t help but wonder what would happen if Jillian were standing over my shoulder during a writing session. Talk about the ultimate Butt-in-Chair workout!

It might go something like this:

*After hours of writing, my butt shifts slightly in the chair, as if to rise*

JM: “What are you doing?”
Me: “I…well…”
JM: “What. Are. You. Doing?”
Me: “I…”
JM: “Do I look like I’m in a tolerant mood? Sit down.”
Me: “But, I have to go to the bath—”
JM: “You don’t get it do you? This is life and death. You literally…left your characters…to die.”


JM: “Is that what you want? You want them to die?”
Me: “…No?”
JM: “Do. You. Want. Them. To. Die.”
Me: “No!”
JM: “Then get your butt back in that chair and write.”

*Sits, stares at blank screen in fear for half a second.*

JM: “Write! Now. Not later. Now! You think you’re going to walk up to the NYT, and they’re going to reward you for quitting? Show me you want this. Go, go, go. I need to see more. Not less. More!”

*Fingers fly over the keyboard, no longer caring if words make sense*

JM: “If you don’t want this, I guarantee you somebody else does. So stop wasting my time if you’re not. Going. To. Write.”

*Fingers…cramping. Doesn’t…matter.*

JM: “Better. Okay, see, that’s how we do it. Now, go ice your fingers.”

*Glances at screen in giddy delirium.*

Me: “Huh, look at that. I wrote 40,000 words. In one sitting. She really is the greatest trainer in the world.”


  1. I can't take the pressure! Jillian would crack me. haha. But that's true, butt in chair is where it starts. Now 40,000 words in one sitting, that would be impressive. My butt would be sore.

  2. She is pretty scary; I don't think I'd want her breathing down my neck while I'm doing anything!


  3. I think I'd probably have a nervous breakdown and never write again. ;)

  4. This was a fun post! Thanks for the laugh. Its a great way to start off the week!

  5. That pretty much sounds like my worst writing nightmare. :)

  6. I couldn't do it with someone yelling at me.

  7. Haha, that's great! She does crack some people so I could see that. I could use someone yelling at me once in a while though.

  8. Michael - Wouldn't it though? ;)

    Jamie - Ha, it would definitely be an experience.

    Tamara - Uh oh.

    Stephen - Glad you liked it.

    David - One of those recurring ones you only get leading up to a deadline, right? ;)

    Alex - I think it'd kinda be a fun challenge.

    Kristen - That's what I think, too.

  9. I haven't watched the show, but it sounds reminiscent of my days in boot camp. Although the language used here is a little less...colorful. ;-)

  10. my kinda humor!! then again...you might find that you lost weight during the whole session, too... :D

  11. Christine - Glad you enjoyed it.

    Jeff - Yikes, boot camp would get me motivated too! :)

    DL - It was fun to put together.

    Peggy - I'm glad.

    Tammy - Haha, you could definitely be sweating off the pounds while you typed. :)

  12. Ha! Very cute. (Although I must admit, I've never seen the show.) I know I could use someone watching over my shoulder yelling at me to get to work!

  13. Hahaha. Funny. It would be awesome do 40k in a sitting, wouldn't it?

  14. Oh My Gosh, I totally need Jillan sitting on my shoulder making me write I would be a machine! That's so cute/funny :)

  15. LOL! This is awesome! I need her sitting over my shoulder. Man I would get so much accomplished!

  16. LOL! Yep. That seems like how it would work out. I wonder if any of those 40,000 words would make sense.

  17. If someone talked to me like that, even if they were trying to "help" me, their efforts might end up being counter-productive.