I figured I’d start this series with the reigning queen of onscreen authors.
Joan Wilder, romance novelist.
My Dad likes to joke that I’m a little like Joan Wilder, and what’s not to love? She’s got an adventurous imagination and a determined spirit that she weaves into her stories. I mean, c’mon, the opening scenes from her writing? So great!
Plus, I can totally relate to the Post-it notes scattered around her house at the beginning of Romancing the Stone to remind her to buy important household items like Kleenex and toilet paper, which she has ignored for days because she’s been too busy writing. Ha!
I love her defiantly optimistic belief that she’ll find her “Jesse.” And the feeling of tearful delight as she types the last words of her novel. Yeah…we’ve all been there (or hope to be there), right?
In Jewel of the Nile, we see her get frustrated with her writing (again, who hasn’t been there!), but she buckles down and comes out on top. She’s also got some hilarious quips about her writing.
As she’s trying to break out of a jail cell with a crowbar:
The Jewel: What are you doing?
Joan: In my last novel, Angelina and the Savage Secret, Angelina used a nail file to chip away at the bars of her cell to remove them and escape to freedom.
The Jewel: How long did this take?
Joan: Two pages.
As she and leading man Jack Colton are hanging over an endless pit, in the clutches of the bad guy. Acid is dripping on Joan’s rope and rats are eating away at Jack’s rope:
Jack (to the bad guy): What kind of sick, twisted mind would even come up with something like this?
*Bad guy looks at Joan*
Joan: …The Savage Secret, Jack…it was my best seller.
*A few minutes later*
Jack: So how'd they get out?
Jack: In The Savage Secret.
Joan: Oh. Um... Jesse had a knife hidden in his boot. You wouldn't happen to have a knife, would you?
Jack: I'm not even wearing underwear.
Also check out Joan's wisdom on pirates.
I’ve got quite a few of these “onscreen author” posts up my sleeve. Add your own faves in the comments trail.